Tri-8 Wk8 Day 491 - Monday

I'm thinking of those paint can shakers you see in hardware stores. I feel like my nervous system has been removed, put in one of those shakers for 20 minutes and then reinserted back into my body. I feel like my muscles have been put in a punching bag and gone over by Muhammad Ali. My neck feels like someone decided to play a joke on me and squirted super glue in my joints. My left elbow still has the olecronon bursitis but it's my right elbow and shoulder that are hurting. When do they hurt? They hurt when I move! I'm wearing compression socks to help combat all the time I'm sitting, but getting pains deep in my thighs which, I can only correlate to arteries deep in the leg.

One of the 26 reasons I had for going to school was due to dissatisfaction at the low activity level inherent with my old job. My old job was great but before I was ensconced with that job I weighed 222 pounds and was benching a robust 515 lbs in competition. Outside of competition I was looking at benching 300 pounds over my body weight. I started with SAVVIS towards the end of 2003 and my last marathon was towards the beginning of 2004.

I'm not exactly sure what to do. I lost the two days a week I had off from clinic due to Case Reports and now I've lost the two free hours I had before going to clinic on my days off due to patients. Patients are a good reason, it is very easy for me to care about other people.

...

oh well - less than 300 days to my first potential graduation date ...August is probably going to be more likely. Already lost one class and on the verge of attendance failing another. only so much I can give ...

Tri-8 Wk7 Day 490 - Wednesday!

I'm keeping this to a 12 hour day today which is an ambiguous way of saying I'm not making it to my Nutrition class this morning and will be leaving home around 8 a.m. and getting home around 8 p.m. after my clinic shift is over.

I've got a smorgasbord of thoughts & ideas, a plethora of pensive passions, and a couple of thoughts on how I'm going to spend the 4 days off I have coming up. Physically, I've turned to mush as well so, one of my first thoughts regarding the time I have off revolves around getting into the gym. Sleep is a HUGE priority and I'm pretty sure there will be a double sleep session starting tonight which means I'll be sleeping through the night, get up then probably laying back down to sleep again. This double sleep pattern is how I first dealt with the sleep apnea, before I had my bi-pap machine and was the reason I first went to see my MD because I wasn't having much of a waking, productive life anymore which was disturbing, to say the least. There is nothing more powerful I'll be able to do to reset my brain and infuse a more positive, happy outlook on life then to get rested with productive sleep.

After gym time & sleep, the third thing on my to-do list will have to concern school. Geez ...I can just feel the dissonance swell up in my brain at the mere thought of dealing with school. I noticed Dr. Shay had added this blog as one he was following and I recall when I first saw him after quitting the pledging process with his fraternity when he mentioned he noticed some kind of psychosomatic response from me when I first saw him. I sure didn't mean any personal or bad reflection on him but, he may have been correct in his assessment. I can feel that same type of response when thinking of school ...a very distinct and noticeable firing of neurons in my brain which tend to produce a not so pleasant emotional response.

As far as what I can "handle" with my current self, I can think back to those pledging days and say with a fair amount of certainty that 16 to 18 hour days were too much and these current 12 to 14 hour days are kind of on the cusp of survival and still being able to progress and move ahead with school.

Mail is a fourth consideration to deal with during this 4 day break.

Tri-8 Wk7, Days 488 & 489 - Mon & Tue

The blogs have been getting more sporadic lately and all I can say is ....5 mandatory clinic days per week, 12 to 14 hour school days - everyday and 35 hours of classes. Oh, and up to 3 hours per day in my car driving. Although, there have been days with as little as 2 hours & 40 minutes :)

Beat, sore & exhausted would be the first adjectives that come to mind when describing my current state. My brain is mush and with that mush & fatigue comes a less than positive attitude and some of the crummiest thoughts I've maybe ever had.

Tri-8 Wk6 Days 485, 486, 487 - Wed, Thur, Fri

It's early Sunday morning (about 1:50 a.m.)

Tri-8 Wk6 Day 484 - Tuesday

I've been home for less than an hour but, it's already after 9 p.m. and I'm pretty much obliterated and could fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Let's see ...yesterdays comment asked who's Korina. As I understand things, she was the Director of Social Media at Logan. As far as specifics, one would have to ask the parties involved. To me, the situation reminds me a little of when I worked as a Realtor back in '95. I remember I wanted to bring my computer into the office but that was forbidden. In my situation, I think the technology was a bit too new for the Broker I worked for but, now-a-days that same company does have a website and everything you'd expect of a Real Estate office. Maybe there's some parallels between the two situations. Maybe not.

I had my 2nd patient today. and ....that's about all I can say about that. LOL HIPPA, ya know. My first patient was this past Friday and, looking back, I probably should have come in Saturday to get all the paper work completed. Of course, it wasn't until today that I saw, first hand, how much was involved. Plus, I already had plans to go to the Ozarks Friday night which kind of precluded going into the office on Saturday.

I did catch an email at work another intern was looking at regarding recent firings at Logan. An interesting part was that Dr. Goodman (current president of the college) starting teaching back in 1968...and he's still with the college! That's about as impressive as it gets. 43 years with the same institution.

There was talk a month or so about a letter that was going around - not an email, but an actual letter critiquing the school and top administration. I think part of the gripe was about salary but, the numbers I heard were actually a little lower than I expected.

There's two things I keep in mind regarding the upper echelons of our administration. 1) There's a chiropractic school out West that's closing it's doors after the Summer semester and 2) Logan is putting up *another* brand new building. So, the people in charge must be doing something right.

My personal gripes tend to be indigenous to my own, somewhat unique situation and most can easily be avoided by simply not living an hour away from the school and also by not waiting until you're in your 40s to go to chiro school.

It's damn hard, I can tell you that. It looks like being away from home for 12 to 14 hours a day is going to be pretty standard. I was thinking this morning, it's like with each new thing that pops up there's a feeling of dread and loathing and then you try to accept it the best you can.

The driving is pretty nuts. Without any bad traffic, I'm putting in about 2 hours and 40 minutes of driving per day. Originally, I was mostly concerned with my blood pressure going hypertensive again like it did when Hwy 40 was closed down but, in spite of my drives being longer, the traffic jams aren't near as bad as when that main highway was closed. My main issues tend to be with sleep and upper arm joints - shoulders & elbows along w/ the ever more frequent parasthesia in the arms & hands.

I sort of remember with fondness how blog entries from a year or two ago were more fraught with interesting things that I learned in class. But ...I can't really remember anything from my classes and there's too many to remember without referring to a schedule or writing them out.

hmmm, OK - I looked at the schedule and am not sure what to make of it. There's too many classes to go through at this time.

I have a PT III practical on Thursday and I've still got to get done the Dx Imag (xray) original interpretations and Lab Interpretation, Case 4 by Friday. I need to get a blue sheet for my senior project turned in ASAP. I don't think Neuroplasticity & rehabilitation as it relates to Stroke patients will be my topic anymore because that was Dr. Bub's forte. I'm not sure who I'll get.

I think part of the griping by recent graduates may have had to do with moving classes into Tri-10 which somewhat precluded upper tri students from retaking classes they were unable to get through in previous trimesters such as 7, 8 or 9. I've just got 8 & 9 to get through.

I don't know. One moment at a time here. And, this moment is begging for sleep.

There is some relief with having a patient to care for because it precludes one from becoming too bogged down in their own trite issues. I've got my homeowners insurance paid again ...looks like I had forgot to do that when it was due - just have to get word to the bank that I'm covered again. Banks are kind of particular about that sort of stuff. Property taxes are another concern but, I've been charging almost everything I can to conserve cash. I think I can get by with a grand if I put off Part IV boards until next May. I know my car needs some attention, it sounds & feels like bearings may be going out. I'd like to at least get my tires rotated. Which reminds me - I need to ask off for next Thursday and Friday. Those days will be golden for getting some personal life stuff taken care of. There's maybe a form to fill out at the office for taking vacation days but I'm tempted to send Dr Hogarth an email asking for the days off - at least it might serve as a reminder if he says something to me tomorrow.

Dr. Hogarth is my clinician at St. Peters. He's very good at his job and does a good job tolerating me. Dr. Kane is the other clinician. As interns we get split up between these two doctors. I really wish I had something class related to talk about -- still don't remember anything...let's see ...

Wed - Class - Clinic Meeting - Clinic

Thur - Class - Clinic Case Reviews

Fri - Class - Clinic

Sat - Class

Sun - Class

Monday - Class - Clinic Case Reviews

Tuesday - Class - Clinic

Wednesday - Class - Clinic

and ...hopefully - praying - I can take two vacation days - one on Thur and one on Friday - we don't have school those days due to homecoming which ...is something else I really haven't gotten to enjoy mainly due to the long commute to school.

Geez - i have to get some clothes washed for clinic tomorrow!

Tri-8 Wk6 Day 483 - Monday

All kinds of excitement going on at the Logan campgrounds as of late and, I guess this would be the time of night, after I get home, that I'd discuss such things with my wife but, she's been dead for quite some time now so I suppose this blog is as good a substitute as any.

In the last week we've lost Korina, Dr. Scott & Dr. Bub - FYI - The only only person I know that's gone 100% is Korina. Dr's Scott & Bub have yet to be confirmed through official channels.

Without a doubt, Korina was the nicest looking of those three to be let go however, Dr. Bub was going to be my senior advisor so ....hmmm ...maybe I go back and try with Dr. Kettner? I'm not sure.

Bub has a diplomat in neurology. I'm not sure if any other teachers at Logan have that diplomat.

Korina is extremely interesting. I would like to have gotten to know her better.

So very few people that we meet really get remembered for a very long time. I can't even remember all the Walgreen stores I've worked at much less all the people I worked with. Just a smattering of memories.

Tri-8 Wk5 Days 481 & 482 - Thur & Fri

placeholder - went to the Lake of the Ozarks after clinic on Friday - Takes less than two hours to get to the condo from St Peters and, it's taken me as long as an hour 40 minutes to get home from St. Peters so ....for an extra 10 minutes of driving, the lake is well worth it. In fact, Saturday, I got more studying and homework done then any other day of this semester. Might have to do this again. :)

Tri-8 Wk5 Day 480 - Wednesday

oh yeah, i had a comment I still need to post about the majority rule thing. In my head I was thinking about things like smoking where, since only 25% of the people smoke and 75% do not then it's alright to toss people who smoke out in sub zero or heat warning temperature

or, with school - a majority of people via the lottery will end up pretty decent so there isn't any need to worry about the exception like me who lives 50 miles away from his clinic and has to be out there 5 days a week -

how freakin crazy is that?!

I started out with 4:30 a.m. alarms on Mon, Tue & Wed ....slept through them until about 5:30ish

My intent was to get out and get some exercise in.

I'm so trashed physically right now it's not even funny.

kind of thinking of riding my bike tomorrow - have to see how my sleep turns out - hate to fall asleep at the wheel of a bike ;)

trying to recall what we did in classes today ....

oh yeah - lots of nutrition this morning -

The teacher actually had pictures straight from a Nobel winning paper from 1986 (circa)

it was the basis for how many think about cholesterol today. upon reflection, it's kind of so-so in light of today's knowledge but, it will be a while before any current studies and research actually become best practice ...research indicates it takes about 15-20 years before what's known actually makes it into "best practice"

Dx Imag III was after that for two hours. Dr. Kettner is always fascinating listening and thank god I record his class because the sleep monster was jumping on me during most of the first hour.

I'm almost too tired to walk.

I'll let the alarms continue to go off at 4:30 because, if nothing else, I've been getting to school on time.

too tired to thik

i have heard I get 6 days off from clinic

I need to use two of those days during our upcoming homecoming otherwise I'll have to go up on Thursday for a case presentation and it will take me twice as long to drive there as it will to listen to the stupid presentations

Tri-8 Wk5 Day 479 - Tuesday

I had four different alarms on two alarm clocks all going off between 4:18 and 4:30 with 5 min delays. I was hoping for non-stop alarms going off but I didn't hear a darned thing and didn't wake up until 5:20 a.m.

If nothing else, I did make it to school with plenty of time to spare. Non of it really mattered as far as my activator class was concerned because I got kicked out. oh well. My best guess now is to drop the class officially and see if I can finish up the weekend activator class. This could turn out to be a good thing.

Just a big non-stop day, class to class to class to class and then straight to clinic where, today, I got the joy of sitting up in the office for 3 1/2 hours to do a whopping 2 minutes worth of work - if that ...however long it takes to write my initials down about 8 times when other interns turn in patient files. What an amazing waste of time and I'm quite certain this was just another in a line of time-wasting mundane things that was added to the curriculum.

I think it's one of those classic blunders when institutions think perfection is achieved when there is nothing left to add instead of considering the possibility that maybe, sometimes perfection is achieved when there's nothing left to take away.

From my perspective, I think Logan has a pretty strong program in the beginning and they're still struggling to get things figured towards the ending trimesters.

Honest to God, all this driving is just eating me alive. I spent an hour & 40 minutes getting home from clinic today. and the way those stupid Case Reports are set up, I have little choice but to deal with rush hour traffic on those two days as well.

My Evaluation of those Case Reports: Actually, they're probably one of the most worthwhile things I'm involved in this trimester and Dr. Hogarth does a really good job.

I've made it no secret telling other students how good I thought the clinic was at St Peters and I kind of wonder how much of an effect that had on the lower Tri's decisions when it came to picking their clinic since the St Peters clinic was one of the first to get picked & filled up.

Definitely a very worthwhile process - ie, Case Reports.

Definitely killing me and shortening my life. most probably anyway.

how hard can it be for the powers to be at Logan to consider students who own their own home and live out of state? they spend so much time trying to tell us how to care for others and yet we, as students, get short-changed so much.

and there is very definitely a "majority rules" type mentality at Logan. As long as the majority of the people are happy then consideration for everyone can take a back seat.

The whole thing has given me new appreciation for all those civil rights legislation's passed in years gone by. It's like the only way you can make certain people care about others is to make it a law.

Alarms are set - dead tired - scarcely got little more than an hour to take care of business at home after i got home.

Lab Interpretations & a Dermatology Exam this Friday ....

Tri-8 Wk5 Day 478 - Monday

Got alarms set for tomorrow at 4:18, 4:24 & 4:30 a.m.

Did what I could today.

Looking to do better tomorrow.

Tri-8 Wk4 Day477 - Friday

just kind of a placeholder here for last Friday.

Everyone seems fond of telling me there's only one year left.

Well, it's one year remaining provided I can get everything done that needs to be done.

BUT - it's not a matter of passing time. It's a matter of being able to do enough within that year's time.

It's more like say you can bench press 500 pounds but need to bench 600 in order to graduate. Maybe you can make it, maybe you can't.

This has really been an isolating type of trimester. Kind of strange. There are very few, if any people from my class that eat lunch in the cafeteria, I might see someone one day out of the week. Most everyone lives close enough that they can run home after our last class to change clothes or get a bite to eat.

My parents have kind of been scarce as well. I'm pretty certain I've heard from them more in previous trimesters but I think maybe I've heard from them once in the last three weeks.

Tri-8 Wk4 Day 476 - Thursday

PT III canceled this morning.

Still need to be to school by 9 a.m. to finish my mail duties from clinic.

If I didn't have outgoing mail duties yesterday at clinic I probably would have left.

Yesterday I learned PT - Physical Therapist are legally able to rate concussions in the state of Ohio however, Chiropractors are not - are you kidding me?! Are people really that stupid and ignorant when it comes to the education of a chiropractor?!

I pulled up the educational requirements for a DOCTORATE in Physical Therapy from Washington University, one of the most respected schools in the nation to see what kind of education PTs have in comparison to chiropractors. It looks like a very good program and I'm sure it produces some of the best PTs in the nation, probably the world but it's a far cry from the education of a chiropractor.

The program shows 4 entire semesters of Clinical Experience - kudos, this is a good thing.

However, when it comes to classroom learning the entire program consist of 5 semesters of classes. Only 19 hours of classes the first semester and a whopping 24 hours of classes the second semester. I've never had so few classes. I've been over 30 hours since my 2nd semester and currently juggle 35 hours *with* clinic! and we don't just have classes for 5 semesters - we have them for TEN semesters.

I'm not seeing anything in the way of hard core chemistry either - I don't see two years of chemistry and a year of physics as a prerequisite and I've not noticed either of those classes as requirements to become an RN either - another very highly regarded profession.

I don't see a year of biochemistry.

I do see one semester of human anatomy. At chiro school we have an entire YEARs worth of Gross Human anatomy which means we're dissecting the entire human body from head to toe.

I do see a couple of classes with the word "diagnosis" in them but not nearly as many dx classes as we've taken at Logan. We've have more diagnostic imaging diagnosis alone.

So, chiropractors have more than double the classes as a PT doctorate level program and yet we aren't capable of concussion assessments? Are you kidding me?

Jesus - in addition to that year of human dissection we spend another semester with the brains we've removed from our cadavers in another class called Neuroanatomy - and that's JUST the anatomy of the brain - we have other classes for pathology, normal function and neurology. Pathology - that's another class entirely missing from the PT program.

I'm not knocking the PT program - it's a great program and I'm half wondering how if I can get into the program - it takes less time and I'd have a good job waiting for me at the end.

Oh well - gotta get to school -

The first of two months worth of 5 day a week clinic duty starts today.

Something radical is going to have to take place to ensure my survival and I'm not even talking about just school survival anymore.

Tri-8 Wk4 Day 475 - Wednesday

Just shoot me in the head now.

I turn 45 July 7th. My new goal is to make it that far.