Day 427, Weekend Edition - SOT gone?

....this was my meltdown over the weekend....

[11:30 p.m. - Saturday] This morning started out as planned, got up early, left the house at 6 a.m., hit Irene gold at 7 a.m., ran over to Logan around 8:30 to complete our SOT homework and started class at 9 a.m.

I guess I was spent or overloaded, not sure exactly. I'm not sure exactly what happened but recall some of my thoughts and feelings. I know I'm tired of the constant driving. It's hard to find anyone that really understands that but I've been driving longer than most of my classmates have been alive. I guess the real thing that was getting to me was that I wasn't getting much out of my classes and it's no fault of the teachers, it's kind of a time crunch issue. My short term recall is in the tank. I'm having trouble taking notes. I'll hear something interesting and type a few words into my laptop then can't remember the rest of what they said. It's got to be related to exhaustion.

[3:30 a.m. - Sunday] The time demands are easier than when I tried pledging since I don't always have to get up at 3:45 or stay out so late but, current activities are getting close. When I was driving into Logan this morning, I had a similar feeling like right before I quit the fraternity pledging to try and salvage my classes.

[9:00 a.m.] For some reason I haven't been to sleep yet. I've laid down but, to no avail.

One thing I have learned and maybe this is especially true at my age is that sleep is vitally important. I know with the written comp board exam that falling asleep during the exam didn't provide very good results but taking it by itself and wide awake, it seemed like the easiest portion of boards. Holy Cow - I've got a graduation this coming Saturday. This is going to be an odd week. No class on Monday (Yahoo!), Board Reviews on Thursday and Friday then a graduation ceremony for the BS degree Logan students are able to pick up on their way to becoming a DC. I don't know about other people but I want to get used to walking across that stage and help visualize getting my DC! The following weekend starts my IHS program. I think that should be enough. It's only once a month for the next 7 months and ...assuming I'm really dropping my SOT class I'll have one extra weekend off prior to our Part II boards.

What can I say. I had a meltdown. I don't expect anything to get easier so it's vitally important I keep hitting the gym to be able to better withstand the demands of school. That portion of my life has really been going well. There's only been two missed days since finding out about my St. Peters clinic assignment. One of those days is when I was fighting to stay awake on my ride home from school and the second time was yesterday. I came home and slept until 5 p.m. I figured there's been enough stress and a day without additional physical stress may indicated.

[10:00 a.m.] I'm reminded of a quote I have on my facebook page by T.S. Eliot, "Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go" I might be a little stressed about the long drives via the St. Peters clinic. I am being proactive and working out with cardio. I've also ate nothing but salads at school for lunch to help up my daily vegetable intake and avoid other less healthy options. I'm taking my vitamins ...I'm on the right track. I'm trying to keep my attitude on track and viewing the 2.5 hour daily trip as a very good quality problem to have. Which, it really is ...guess I'll have to wait and see how well I handle everything. About the only solid solution I could see to avoid the drive would be to drop out of school for a semester in order to sell my home and then move. I guess I could also try taking a standard (instead of accelerated) class load. Hell, with my luck, I'll sell my home to be closer to school and St. Peters and end up having to pick a new location!

Have I mentioned the utter stupidity associated with the current line of thinking regarding zero tolerance of swapping of office assignments with classmates? I'm also wondering more and more about the recent mandatory three-day per week office visits. I don't have any first hand experience with it but, from the people I've talked with that are already in St Peters it doesn't seem very popular. We've got three mandatory days, regardless of whether or not you have any patients scheduled and then the office meetings which may or may not fall on your clinic cay and then interns might have to come in on their non-clinic days if they do have patients scheduled.